When Green Marshmallows Attack! DUN DUN DUN!
by Erika1995
Summary: Note: this story has nothing to do with green marshmallows attacking. Very stupid and random...and really short...I wrote it in maybe an hour. It kind of sucks to say the least.


One terrible day, a terribly boring, seventh-grade-level math class was going on in the first grade classroom at Peter Pan's School for the Vertically Challenged. The teacher drew a retarded picture on the board: a circle with a horizontal line through the middle, and a dot in the middle of the line. "Who can tell me what this is supposed to be?" the teacher asked, sounding like a Christmas tree eating a pancake. The class hesitated for a few minutes until one kid said, "Is it a Pokemon egg?" "No! You children are retards, aren't you? It is a UNICORN!" the teacher replied like a giggly gnome eating a chair. "E.T. phone home?" asked a short, ugly creature. "No, E.T.! You may NOT call your sister to get you out of school again!" the teacher yelled like a cow trying to swallow a cat. "FIDDLESTICKS!" said E.T., and all the children in the room, and the teacher, gasped like spoons with mad cow disease. "What did you just say, young lady?" the teacher, Mr. Sketch, screamed like Dora trying to cross Crocodile Lake without a boat. "Uh…fiddlesticks…" E.T. replied confusedly. "You rebel, you! Go to the office immediately, where they will torture you by making you read…OLD MAGAZINES!" Mr. Sketch said like he needed a life…ohh, wait…. 

"OLD MAGAZINES!" E.T. screamed, not wanting to believe that forcing children to read old magazines was legal in any part of North America. "I believe that's what I said, young grasshopper!" Mr. Sketch, who has a black belt in karate, screamed like a dying unicorn. E.T. obeyed, and ran to the office like Dorothy following the yellow brick road, except he didn't have midgets leading the way. After E.T. left, Mr. Sketch said, "Alright, class-look up!" The children looked up, and gummy bears began falling off the ceiling. The students then began fighting over them like starving vultures. A kid walked up to Mr. Sketch and said, "Mr. Sketch, that's hot!" "I know I am," said Mr. Sketch, "No pictures, please." "No problem, I just wanted to let that out before I could ask you a VERY personal question-what is your first name!" said the kid, also known as French. "Well, I'm not sure I want to answer that question, since it's VERY personal, but anything for my most favoritest student! My real first name is Etch A!" said Mr. Sketch, being his stupid self, as usual. "I'm your 'most favoritest' student? …No wonder we don't have you as an English teacher!" said French like a pig drowning in grape juice. "Shut up! PIKACHU! Know what's sad? I've been your teacher for months, and I still don't know your last name! Isn't that weird?" Mr. Sketch said like a cake-baking midget. "Yes, it is pretty weird, kind of like you! By the way, I am Toast. French Toast:B!" French said. Mr. Sketch made the oO face, sighed, then said, "What kind of people are your parents to name a child French Toast?" "…I dunno. But if you think my name's weird, you should meet my brother, Buttered!" French said to Mr. Sketch, a former roller discoer from the famously non-existing roller disco team, The Multi-Colored Geek Brigade. "oO…Buttered Toast?" Mr. Sketch sighed at French's parents' interestingly retarded choice of children's names. "Yup, that's him!" French exclaimed. "Why do your parents make your names sound so yummy? What kind of terrible people would put their children through that kind of emotional torture!...I'm a unitard!" Mr. Sketch asked, then screamed as he put an ice cream cone on his head to make him look like a unicorn, and since he was a retard as well, I cleverly put unicorn and retard together to form the word, unitard. Carry on. "…My parents would. Goodbye, you lint licker!" French said to Mr. Sketch. "Bye, you son of a biscuit-eating bulldog! Be sure to wriiiiiiite to me!" Mr. Sketch replied. "What the French toast?" said one of the other kids, who had been named Mr. Striped Cow by the other children and Mr. Sketch, although he wasn't striped and looked nothing like a cow, but he did sound like one. "Not now, Mr. Striped Cow!" Mr. Sketch said. "MOO!" Mr. Striped Cow replied, and flew off into the sunset. Mr. Sketch spotted two girls, named Y and Z, talking in the corner. Z said, "My life is spiraling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry Concert. That stinks, 'cause they play some of my favorite songs like, Stab My Heart Because I Love You, and…Rip Apart My Soul, and of course, Stabby Rip Stab Stab! And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either. Like that guy from that band can do." Y then replied, "Yeah me too…" Because she apparently had no idea that Z was saying the words to a song. So just to be a retard and make Y believe her, Z continued, "My life is just a black abyss, y'know? It's so dark. And it's suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip. Tighter than a pair of my little sister's jeans…which look great on me, by the way." "SPD emergency!" yelled Mr. Sketch, diving into the corner like the little purple pony that he was in his wildest dreams. "Soooooooooooooooooo! Watcha talkin' about!" he asked all the little children in the world, or maybe just the two in the corner. "Your mom." Said Y. "Okey dokey then! A penny for luck! THOSE WERE MYYYYY CHEERIOS, BILLY! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! The snack that smiles back-goldfish!" Said Mr. Sketch, giving them a penny, some Cheerios, and a box of Goldfish. "That was odd…but hey…free food, and now we're centonnaires!" Z said. "Hope that fills you up!" Mr. Sketch said, and flew away in a walking, singing (and apparently flying), bathtub. Then they all died, came back to life, and lived happily ever after. 

The end. 

I don't own any of the following: Peter Pan, Pokemon, E.T., Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants (the 'old magazines' quote), The Wizard of Oz, Orbit gum, Jeffree Star's "I Must Be Emo" (and, I'm kinda glad I don't own that one), Power Rangers, Goldfish, or the Nightmare Before Christmas (bathtub…although on the movie it doesn't sing or fly, it just walks)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and that you'll tell all your friends. Lol. :


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